How do I Know She wants Me to Talk to Her? How to Notice her Initial Attraction

A lot of folks ask “How do I know when a woman wants me to approach her?” Well you pay attention to what she is doing and you will notice whether she wants you to approach. She will send you small little attraction clusters or initial attraction clusters. It’s important to realize there are multiple stages of attraction and her initial interest is normally an approach cue but not always.

A woman who wants an approach will show repeated interest, she will continue to send signals (women know men miss the signals all the time). You should start looking around, study body language more often and at some point it will be easy for you to notice attraction everywhere you go. At a certain point you just feel when they are attracted you don’t just think through the check list to see what her body language is saying. I understand that you may not feel comfortable making these observations at first, this is why a smile and nonthreatening body language is so important.

Eye contact

Eye contact is vital to noticing initial attraction clusters. A woman could be preening and sending submissive signals while talking to you but if she is making eye contact with your buddy you are out the loop. If you want to see who she is attracted to you need to align the timing of her body language with eye contact. Eye contact tells you who the signals are directed at.

Repeated Eye Contact

Repeated eye contact is a signal all on its own. If a woman keeps looking at you she is interested. I know I know “but what if she just thinks I’m weird.” Well I’ll put this in an easy to understand way, when you walk into a room and you look around a lot of people where do your eyes stop? On what you find most attractive or interesting (which are usually but not always the same). So what happens when you find someone attractive? You keep looking. Do you think that women are going to act differently? The answer is NO! They keep looking because they are attracted, when a woman keeps making eye contact she is usually attracted.

Longer Eye Contact

When you make eye contact with a stranger it is usually brief so that it doesn’t come across as threatening. When we make eye contact for a longer period of time it’s because “we can’t take our eyes off them,” Literally. So if you make eye contact with a woman and neither of you guys break eye contact for a substantial amount of time there is likely a strong initial interest. Note: Your culture changes what is long or short eye contact.

Attraction Clusters

The bulk of initial attraction is witnessed in attraction clusters. A cluster is a combination of signals, if someone is making longer or stronger eye contact but they have an angry look on their face they aren’t attracted, the cluster doesn’t add up to attraction. They are sending you a very threatening look. So it is important to pay attention to the rest of her body language and the signals she is sending to see whether it is an initial attraction/approach cue.

Attraction clusters are a combination of submissive signals, preening, eye contact, and courtship body language. When combined with the right timing are often times a signal a woman is initially attracted and may be open to an approach. How often you receive approach cues from her tells you how strong the attraction really is.

Here are 5 common examples of Initial Attraction Clusters that are often times an invite to approach:

1. A Woman may make eye contact, smile, and do the look down. This is an approach cue that Full Time Gangsta refers to. What she did is she made eye contact, telling you who the signal was for. She smiled showing you she is nonthreatening and we tend to smile at those we are attracted to. She looked down this is a sign of submission and shy girls are known for doing this.
2. When a woman makes eye contact, adjusts her hair(small less than a second effort or longer), and looks down. Again you have a very similar cluster but this time instead of a smile you may have received a preen in its place. Her hair adjustment is an attempt to adjust her appearance for you.
3. She makes eye contact, while her foot is pointing at you, she smiles, and turns her head. We point our foot in the direction of the thing we are most interested in a woman may be pointing her foot at a friend, the bathroom, an exit, or even you. It points at what she is interested in now. A turned head is a common flirting signal and a submissive signal.  This is a common cluster that goes unnoticed especially between friends.
4. The woman may make eye contact, look down, and straighten her shirt. Again she is preening by adjusting her appearance for you, sending you a submissive signal, and telling you it’s all for you with her eye contact.
5. If she makes eye contact, smiles, smooths her dress, and flicks her hair she is sending a strong attraction cluster. She is bringing attention to her appearance while making sure it looks good for you. Her smile shows she is nonthreatening and something we tend to do when we are attracted. The hair flick does two things, it helps grab your attention with movement and it’s a preen, it helps her adjust her appearance.

Initial Attraction

Just because a woman is initially attracted doesn’t always mean she is open to an approach but it certainly makes it easier. Your approach also won’t be denied, it will merely be deflected. Sometimes it is because she is in a relationship or just doesn’t know how to interact in the courtship process(you need to make it easy for her). An initial attraction doesn’t mean there is going to be strong attraction down the road either. You can gain initial attraction but still screw it all up with the first words you say so make sure you have a good open to catch her attention.

The more often you receive those attraction clusters the more you can take it for what it is, an approach cue, if a woman sends you 2 initial attraction clusters go talk to her, she wants you to. If she has continued to send them to you go after her and you will have an easy close with some good escalation and attraction building skills. You guys may not realize this but women are in charge of the courtship process if you want to be good with women you merely need to learn to respond to the signals she is sending while building attraction and escalating naturally at a comfortable pace.