This Article is now contained (with some editing) in my Now Available True Core Self-Confidence and Happiness Program – This Program is dedicated to giving you the confidence to give compliments with class and without neediness!
The Art of the Compliment
In this day and age I’ve read so much about not giving a woman a compliment, that it is a submissive and recently a “needy” trait. I’m not saying that isn’t true in some cases, some men as I like to put it place the women above themselves and the women agree whole hardheartedly with their opinion of themselves. How could they not?
So how do you compliment a woman so that it doesn’t place her above you? You grant your compliment with confidence. Just because she is beautiful doesn’t mean she is better than you. A compliment isn’t a big deal, I enjoy complimenting others, it makes their day better and why wouldn’t I be happy to improve someone else’s day? You should have your Confident behaviors while you are complimenting.
There are certain things that are better to compliment than others. Some things seem to start conversation far easier than others and have for me in several situations gotten genuine interesting conversations. One thing that people (not just women) love is being complimented on their personal choices. We love compliments on our personal choices because it is more a compliment on who we are then what we look like.
I rarely start a conversation with something along the line of “Wow! You are beautiful.” Not to say I haven’t started a conversation with something like that but I prefer complimenting what she is wearing from an accessory or clothing standpoint. People choose to dress the way they do and it feels good when someone notices how we dress. It feels good when they think it looks good so complimenting helps you come across as far more charismatic.
The Pitfalls of Bland
I come across so many guys that use weak ass compliments that seem generic and like merely conversation starters, I’m not saying they aren’t but your goal is to catch interest if you are starting a conversation with a compliment. So that means the delivery should be smooth, confident, original, and most important of all GENUINE. Don’t give a woman a bland compliment give her a great compliment, a true noteworthy “I’m paying attention to you” compliment.
Examples of Bland Include:
- I like your shirt.
- I like your necklace.
- Your hair looks pretty.
- Those are nice shoes.
- That is a nice outfit.
Do you see how detrimental it is to use such a ridiculously bland compliment? You need to show your actual appreciation for the item you are complimenting. You should be flattering not bland. You need the why of the compliment with it.
Examples with the Why:
- That is a gorgeous shirt; the color really compliments your eyes.
- I love the Necklace, it reminds of ……
- You have gorgeous hair, I love beautiful long hair it is so sexy.
- I love the shoes, they work very well with your outfit.
- That dress is phenomenal it compliments you so well. You look gorgeous.
Note: My favorite compliment is glasses. People spend a lot of time choosing what they are going to put on their face. When a pair of glasses works well with a woman, I compliment her glasses. We all love a fabulous compliment and glasses are a hard choice to make, it feels great to receive compliments on your glasses.
I’m a big fan of the why but I do know these can still be very, very bland and so it is important to keep them original. What I mean by this is don’t use those exact phrases. You want to use something along the lines of what I am saying with the why but also have an interesting impact on them. Choose your diction wisely. This is my style and fits my personality, I suggest you find what works within your own personality.
Examples of Original Compliments:
- That was a brilliant choice on the shirt, it compliments your eyes phenomenally.
- That Necklace is awesome, I love it. (Insert more specific details here)
- Wow! I love your long hair, it’s gorgeous. Short hair is cute, Long hair is Sexy.
- Those shoes were a brilliant selection. They looks so great with that outfit, they really compliment your figure as well.(high heels push up their ass and chest)
- Damn doll, look at you togged out to the bricks. That dress is phenomenal, you look gorgeous (sexy) in it.
Genuine is a big key to a flattering compliment, it is important your compliment is true. Don’t give away compliments you don’t believe, they will lack congruency and you will not be confident in it. Both the compliment and you will lose value.
How to Use a Compliment to Open
I see a lot of things saying don’t compliment a woman to start a conversation, well in some cases that may be true but now you know how to compliment in an original and flattering way. You aren’t acting like you are trying to open her as an excuse you are genuinely complimenting her in a very natural way while asking about it in some way.
So basically you are going to ask one of the Who, What, Why, or Where, of the item they got. The compliment should be stated and a question asked naturally after.
Examples of Compliments with Opens:
- That was a brilliant shirt selection, it compliments your eyes beautifully. What were you thinking when you chose such an outfit, have any men barked at you today?
- What a gorgeous necklace. Mine means a lot to me, it is almost part of my personality at this point. Where did you get yours?
- Your hair is gorgeous. Long hair is so sexy. Don’t you agree short hair is cute, long hair is sexy?
- Gorgeous shoes they compliment your figure and outfit so well. My female friends take so long to choose their shoes to look right. Is it true you can take 45 minutes deciding?
- Holy shenanigans batman, look it you lil mama, togged out to the bricks. That dress is gorgeous. Why would you do that to men?
To open you add questions but most of the time with a genuine compliment I don’t need to ask a question, they are so happy to receive the compliment they light up and often times just start telling you where they got it. You can hear interesting stories about how they got it traveling or maybe it was given to them by a relative. Tons of conversation can be shaped just by granting a genuine compliments. People love talking about their personal choices and it is always a good thing to grant them a compliment to raise them up. Conversations are natural when they start out genuine and only here and there can you not start a conversation off merely the straight forward compliment.
Why You should Compliment
Complimenting people can make their day. It can raise them from a poor day to a good day. It is very important to give compliments to people to build your own confidence. Giving out compliments can makes you feel amazing too. A lot of people don’t realize charismatic people do a lot of complimenting. They let them know what they appreciate about them and since two of the big things charismatic people do is make people feel good and raise people up you know they use compliments in abundance.
Using Compliments to your Advantage: Your Homework
You need to practice them so that they become natural and easy. Your homework is to go up to 5 people every day and pay them a genuine compliment. They don’t have to be beautiful women, just people, a man, a woman, older or younger, pretty or ugly. You want to go out granting compliments so you realize how good it feels, so you can learn to charm people and gain the charisma that is so sought after by so many people in this world. Charisma is a learned behavior. Another important thing about learning to grant compliments is it certainly raises how attractive you are to others.
Peace and Love,