This article edited is included in my True Core Self-Confidence and Happiness Program – This Program is dedicated to instilling all these same concepts plus much more in yourself!
The “Alpha” Male- Behaviors of the Confident Attractive Male
One of the most asked questions I receive is how do I look “Alpha”? There is something I want to say on behalf of “Alpha” in the community, it is a myth, an “Alpha” male in our world is not a dominant male physically. It is a confident male in our day and age. A woman isn’t attracted to a physically dominant male, she is attracted to the confident male he represents.
The body language of a confident male is noticeable on both a conscious and especially subconscious level. A woman will always notice a man that has a confident aura about him, it is quite the attractive feature when she runs into someone who has a serious amount self-assurance, self-love, and self-belief. Don’t believe me? Look at the asshole who treats women like shit and gets an ass load of tail, it obviously isn’t his charm that attracts her. It is his confidence or self-assurance that is so attractive.
Consciously Fake it until you Make it
There have been several studies that shows that body language is two ways. Not only do we stand a certain way because how we feel but how we feel can be changed by our own body language. Now this is very important when it comes to confidence because this means you can’t feel confident until you stand confident. Since you may have had years and I do mean years of bad habits when it comes to body language it is important to realize that you are going to have to consciously do this until it is natural. Your current body language makes you feel the way you feel, you feel unconfident in part because of your current body language.
It is important to develop these behaviors as habits. There are 4 levels of competent behavior: Unconscious Incompetence, Conscious Incompetence, Conscious Competence, and finally Unconscious Competence. The first stage is the stage where you were, you didn’t know that you needed to change your behaviors. Now you are in Conscious Incompetence meaning you know that you need to change something. At the end of this read you will be Consciously Competent, you will know the behaviors to modify and have to consciously do them. At a certain point you will have the Unconscious competence in your new body language that you have now, they will be habits you won’t have to think about, and it is important to get to this point.
I am sorry I went over all this information but it is more important to me to understand the why than the how. I remember more off the why.
On to your New Habits
Chin up – I can’t stress enough how important it is to have your chin up. How can you look confident looking at your feet or looking up with your eyes at people(this can be used in the proper situation and just be quite charming). When you meet anyone’s but especially a woman’s eyes you want your chin to be at least parallel to the ground.
Shoulders – Keep your shoulders wide and scapulars pulled back together. Wider shoulders are a sign of masculinity and we carry a lot of stress in our shoulders. So show relaxed but wide shoulders, don’t be afraid to show who you are by your shoulders. Keep your head out of your shoulders.
Take Up Space – Confident and “Alpha” people have a much larger territory. They aren’t afraid to have their arms up and moving around. They sit down with their fingers interlaced with their hands behind their head looking not only comfortable but bigger. If you are sitting and the seat next to you is empty don’t be scared to extend your arm taking up space.
Wider Stance – It is very important to realize taking up space includes your feet. A wider stance shows you take up more space and in general appears far more confident. A narrower stance shows a timid more submissive person. If you are a tall man it may be a good idea to have a less wide stance, your size is dominant enough you may need to adjust for a more non threatening body language.
Illustrators – Illustrators are a charismatic man’s vice, or at least I see them like that. Illustrators are when we act out what we are saying. A good example is acting like you are throwing something when you are talking about it. They show confidence and help you take up space. People more comfortable also tend to use illustrators.
Sitting – Even while sitting you should maintain these behaviors. Your feet should be wide, and in some cases extended. You want to look comfortable.
Good Posture – As mama said “straighten up”. Keep your posture straight and up while not up tight, be relaxed. You should be walking around like you are “The Man”. Good posture also helps represent youth and health. It is a very attractive feature.
Relax – Be relaxed guys, while you should have good body language you also want to show how comfortable and relaxed you are. Confident people are always confident. It is very obvious who is confident off of comfort level alone.
Movement – I already went over movement in my blog on What are sexy dames attracted to? You should emphasize your masculinity. That means your shoulders and broader movements with your arms. Don’t swing everywhere but certainly move your shoulders and arms a bit. Your movements should be sure and relaxed.
Highly Recommended Behaviors
Smiling – I have come across several people spreading the false information of smiles are submissive and bad, many a times I argued diplomatically. BULL SHIT, they are a sign of confidence and comfort, something every attractive male has. A smile is the only attractive universal face, the others include sadness, anger, contempt, disgust, surprise, and fear.
Nonthreatening – Be nonthreatening and have open body language. This means have your arms open (relaxed) NOT crossed (closed). It means the occasional head turn and look down. You need to show you aren’t harmful and nonthreatening, the smile helps as well. Threatening people aren’t attractive and they are certainly avoided. I hear a lot about physically dominant behaviors to show “Alpha” to me this is a Neanderthal look “Alpha”. It is a new era guys and confident behavior is not physically dominant. It is absolutely necessary to show you are comfortable so that when they mirror you they are comfortable.
If you guys question anything let me know and I’ll answer it as best I can.
Peace and Love,
Here is my Alpha video, the sound is messed up but the content once again is solid. ENJOY!