Our mind is our reality. What we believe is really how we experience the world. Hypnosis and NLP are powerful examples of how we can use our subconscious to create a reality that is existent within our mind. With hypnosis and NLP you can make a person believe anything with the acceptance of it by their subconscious mind. What people don’t realize is we are manipulated and hypnotized every day.
The best personal example I have of how powerful the mind is with more than one of my past sexual partners I have got them to cum on demand. I love it, it’s such an amazing feeling being able to make a woman cum 20 times in a session with ease, with shorter and longer orgasms based on how long or short you want them to cum for. I have anchored women to cum when I mentioned certain phrases, they had no idea why or what I did. (How to anchor a woman to orgasm cumming soon) You can use a woman’s own mind to fulfill her fantasies simply by knowing and understand how it relates to sex.
Good sex for a woman is cerebral; if you don’t have a woman’s mind you will never give a woman an orgasm. If you don’t believe me ask a girl if she has ever had sex where she wasn’t even a part of the moment, she was thinking about laundry, or what she has to do tomorrow. She is merely going through the motions and there is zero genuine intimacy from her. In an effort to please a man she gives you the almighty fake pinnacle I call “The Fauxgasm”.
Sex for women is all about her mind, unlike men they can have sex without any need to be aroused. Men can be so consumed in their own pleasure that they pay no mind to whether a woman is actually aroused. We obsess as humans (especially men) on our own pleasure; we don’t notice that the person in front of us is not at all aroused. It doesn’t help that men lack the same intuition women have from a body language stand point to know what is helping and what is hurting. Basically men often times have no idea or some just don’t even care to get a woman off. (By the way shame on you guys, be a gentlemen, let her cum first.)
Some More Basic NLP
Since a woman’s orgasm is purely cerebral how can we harness it and use it to our advantage? Well we are going to start with a basic look at NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming). We have 5 senses we experience the world through: taste, smell, feel, hear, and sight. However we experience our own personal of world through three of the systems: feel (kinesthetic), hearing (auditory), or seeing (visual). We all have one main system we seem to prefer to experience the world through. We can all get trapped in each system, you can be trapped in hearing negative thoughts, seeing yourself in bad situations, or feel an endless amount of negative emotion.
Note: Visual people tend to describe the world they see when they talk. Auditory people describe what they hear. Kinesthetic people describe what they feel.
So if we all experience the world through different systems does it help if we are experiencing things in an auditory system during sex? While listening to something can turn a woman on, it normally doesn’t get her off. Now on to visual women, just because something visual arouses a woman it doesn’t make a woman enjoy sex. So that leaves one last system we have and that is the obvious reason we enjoy sex and that is how good it feels. When we talk about our positive experiences with sex we tend to prefer to talk about how it feels, not what it sounded like or looked like (though women are a lot more descriptive when they talk about sex).
Sex is an incredibly kinesthetic experience. What’s great is about the different systems is we can all be pulled in to anyone of these systems with some techniques. One of the tools NLP uses is words and how we react to them to pull us in and out of our different systems. So if we are stuck in a visual system we may start a system with something like “You are so gorgeous, and you make me feel so good.” If they are in auditory system you can start it with “Your voice is so sexy, it makes me feel so…..” the goal is to be more auditory while switching over to kinesthetic. I may say something like “You are such a sexy girl, you make me feel so hot”. “You make me feel so hard.” Obviously it is absolutely imperative there is enough attraction and sexual tension there to say this stuff, each statement is used during different situations. They were merely examples of language you can use that is sexual and involves words using kinesthetic terms.
You want her to focus on feeling this means using phrases involving feeling. How we touch the world, how we feel warm or cold. How we FEEL things in this world is the goal. You want her to feel how good the sex is. Not hear or see how good the sex is. The absolute best part of sex is how good it feels and it is imperative to not only get her into but also to stay in the kinesthetic system.
Beware sometimes a certain statement may not fancy a woman, it’s important to look around for clues as to what her reaction to your statement does to her. Timing is everything, if she reacts aroused to your statement you’re in good shape, uncomfortable time to pull back or away from that statement.
A Technique for Rape Victims, and the Rarely Orgasmed Women
What I was talking about earlier was getting the women into the feel system but this also applies to women having a very hard time enjoying sex. When a woman is having trouble getting to orgasm you need to remove her from her thoughts and refocus her on how good it feels. In some situations this means starting with a massage that is nonthreatening and keeps her shield down. You want her just to enjoy touch, how things feel. So you tell her straight up “I just want you to focus on how good it feels.”
Some women say things like “I can’t have an orgasm I’ve tried it is impossible.” Well that right there is a problem, an orgasm isn’t about trying. It is about just giving yourself away and not caring about anything but pleasure, you don’t want her to focus on anything but how pleasurable it feels. Every time I am with a woman during the foreplay I tell her to focus on how good it feels. This puts her in the feel system and lets me get her off that much quicker. A woman’s thoughts or efforts stop her from Cumming, with some women they love to please so much that I’ve had to tell them to stop and just enjoy how good it feels.
Remember what arouses a woman isn’t what gets a woman off, women enjoy sex because even just arousal feels good (extreme sports are a great example). However if you want to get a woman off, if you want to get a woman to the point of orgasm you need her to focus on feel and be in that feel system. Not focused on pleasing you, or her insecurities (yes some women obsess over their looks even in bed). Getting a woman off is all about having her focus on the feel of the pleasure she is enjoying. It’s up to you to center her on her pleasure. Her own mind is controlling her right now, YOU have to control her mind at that point. After she is in feel and merely focused on the pleasure you need to switch gears.
Read her Body Language
Besides getting her into the feel system you need to pay attention to what is pleasing or arousing her further or what is turning her off. This means you need to read her body language. Listen to her breathing patterns, the faster it is the better you are doing, you are moving at a pace that is pushing her to orgasm. Sound is also important, a woman has less care or control over her voice or the noises she makes when close to orgasm. You basically want to look for what is pleasing versus what may be turning her off moving her away, provoking anxious behavior. While there should be arousal there should also be comfort.
Ask, Listen, than Do it to Her
This is the biggest part of being good in bed, and that is communicating with her. Most of the time a woman will tell you what you need to know if you listen. Don’t tell a woman what she likes, pay attention to her body language and what she says. A woman often times is nice enough to not hurt your feelings about being a bad sex partner, but she will willingly let you know what works for her. Listen up, it will do tons for you. Even if you are bad the first time she’ll know you are willing to listen and often times give you more opportunity (there must be a strong attraction).
One of the things my female friends have told me that I think is hilarious is when a guy says something like “My ex-girlfriend use to love this.” Seriously? NEVER EVER talk about your ex-whatever to say they like this, if you want to mention a specific move just say something like “I’ve heard (or know) a lot of women enjoy this.” However listen to see whether she is one of these women. Some women love when men go down on them and some hate it, some women love to give blow jobs and some find it disgusting. It’s important to listen and find out what arouses them, what they get off on and to put that information to use rather than just know she likes something. It’s important for you to realize not every woman likes your best move, you need to get over it. Some woman love things, some hate things but you aren’t going to find out if you never ask. I find it better to learn this info early on, like while building sexual tension during the courting phase. In bed you can just know what to do.
You Must Control Her
During a sexual trance a woman is very suggestible. You have the options to tell her what to do, and while you telling her what to do can be a huge turn on for a woman, if you say the wrong thing or do it at the wrong moment it isn’t right. Disclaimer: DON’T RAPE A WOMAN, NO MEANS NO. However when you are in the heat of the moment, foreplay or sex is in full swing, don’t be afraid to tell her what you want her to do. Hopefully you’ve already extracted the information on what she likes before you got to the sex or foreplay by building sexual tension through words and touch. So rather than saying things like “maybe”, “how about”, “perhaps”, etc. , say “get up here”, “move over here”, “put your mouth”, your tone should be confident, nonthreatening but commanding.
Women love a man that can take control of her, especially when he knows what to do and how to do it. If you’ve been listening and paying attention to her body language, then you should be able to tell her what to do and be telling her what she wants to do. Women love to be controlled during sex, within reason, mind you there are moments when she wants to be in control and that is fine to. For a woman to have an orgasm she shouldn’t be focused on anything but pleasure, if you are telling her what to do she is still focused on pleasure. If you are asking her questions you are pulling her out of her feel system, and while you may need to ask here and there you don’t want to ask the whole time.
The First Orgasm is the Hardest
After you guys get the first orgasm out of the way with a woman they get easier. With most women (at least all the women I’ve been with) have a harder time getting to the first orgasm. One woman said something along the lines of “The first orgasm takes me about 7 minutes once I’m in the mood (in the feel system), after that they just come one after another (while she was snapping her fingers).” So keep in mind a woman may be difficult to get off the first time, but each orgasm after will get easier.
It seems to have to do with at least a couple of things. One thing is her belief that you are a man that can give her an orgasm, so now she knows you can give her one. Another thing is once she has an orgasm you have her in the feel system, there is such a huge difference between having sex with an aroused woman, and a woman in the feel system. One gets you an orgasm the other she merely enjoys sex sometimes.
Putting it All Together
All of this info is just as good as getting the first orgasm as getting each after, it is up to you to use it. You are the person who needs to recon her sexually, you need to ask and listen. Get her into the feel system, use your recon info, be confident and control her to deliver her first of many orgasms. Don’t be a guy every women talks about negatively, be the guy every women preaches about. Be the best they ever had, go learn more and more about sex. Educate yourself on sex and be confident in bed. Once you own the sexual confidence to stimulate a woman both mentally and physically you will realize every woman you hook up with got lucky. It will never be “Oh I got lucky last night.” It will be “Wow! This women is about to luck out.”