Having a conversation is suppose to be the easy part of picking up a woman, but if you don’t know how to carry a conversation how on earth can you pick up a girl?
So a lot of guys seem to put so much focus on opening a girl or how to open a girl that they forget that starting a conversation regardless of how terrifying it is is the easy part. It’s carrying the conversation that is the bitch of the whole thing. All you need to open a girl is pretty basic. “Hi my name is (insert your name here), I just felt obligated to come over and meet you. You look interesting.” The key to this opening is simple: Confidence and congruence with your words.
There is always something to say, you just need to be aware of some tactics. I’ve noticed after reading many of these tactics we all use them naturally, so it’s not as if you wouldn’t be doing this anyways it just makes you more aware of what happens when you have a good long conversation.
Note: If you say these things with low energy or you aren’t paying attention to their response you’ll have nothing to talk about, so stop thinking and be a part of the present. Your energy will define how well the conversation goes not just your tactics. Be sure to add your own personality and character to your words as these are pretty bland, I would be a bit more “Me” when using these tactics.
Now on to the tips:
- Find the Nouns: This one is the most basic but also the most useful in a conversation as long as you can make it natural. Look for the noun and ask for further emphasis. First things first if you don’t remember what a noun is – Person, place, or thing. It’s a very basic tactic but if you are interested in a conversation you tend to do this naturally.
Example 1: She says “Oh my friend went over to the bar.”
Example 1 Response 1: “Oh will you tell her to get me a (insert drink here)?”(playful obviously)
Example 1 Response 2: “Which bar?”(obviously only works at a place with multiple bars)
Example 1 Response 3: “Oh how many friends did you come with?”
Example 2: “We came from (insert bar, location, etc. here), we just wanted to check out a new place.”
Example 2 Response 1: “Oh really how was (insert location here)? Heard that place gets crazy on Friday nights.”
Example 2 Response 2: “Who’s we? How many of your friends came with you?”
Example 2 Response 3: “You’ve never been here? It’s pretty fun as long as you meet someone like me.”
2. Repeat her last words: If you want to know more about something, just more emphasis this is really basic don’t overdo it but use it here and there. Literally just repeat her last 4-5 words and she’ll explain it further. Your voice should sound a little inquisitive.
Example 1: “We came from (insert location here).”
Example 1 Response: “You came from (insert location here)?”
Example 2: “We were out and about all night doing crazy shit.”
Example 2 Response: “Doing crazy shit?”
3. Ask Genuine questions: Fuck the bullshit “where are you from?”, “where do you live”, “where do you work?” etc. Be genuine in asking questions. Literally want to know things about her, don’t focus on carrying a conversation, focus on asking questions you actually want the answer to. I’m not saying these questions don’t come about, I’m merely saying they will come naturally and should just happen not be an interview type of conversation. So the questions will get answered but they shouldn’t get asked in the first 2 minutes of conversation, as you find out more about them it should be ON TOPIC. Don’t ask “where do you work” when the conversation dries up, this will keep the conversation dry.
4. Point out her small idiosyncratic behaviors: This my specialty as a body language guy, if you can tell a woman how she is feeling or what her behavior shows you a conversation can be easy as pie. It’s literally noticing all the little things and pointing them out without doing it in an offensive way… This isn’t easy if you’re not use to being aware of people’s emotional state.
5. LISTEN TO HER: This is a huge mistake that most guys make in the pick up world, it’s not about waiting for your turn to talk. It’s about genuinely listening to her and responding according to her.
6. Be fucking Random: You don’t have to have a structure to your conversation. If the conversation does get dry and she realizes you are a goofy guy just say something fucking nutty. The goal is to make her smile so don’t get fancy! You can quote some crazy part of a movie, or you can say something just completely off topic and out of twack.
7. Point out Observations you can share: Literally look around the room and share an observation that is kind of goofy. If you guys can share and observation you can create and inside joke, this creates a connection and really jump starts courtship. What the fuck is that drunk idiot doing over there? Did you see that guy fall? Oh shit I don’t think he gets the hint she’s going to slap his ass.
8. Learn to give a GOOD Compliment: This is really its’ own article and I do have a how to compliment article here. Basically the keys to granting a good compliment that won’t get a drink thrown in your face are simple: Tell them why you like it and be sure to be genuine!
Here is a great video by Allan Pease:
9. Speak your mind – what did she remind you of: Ok if you are some needy guy or something along that nature you may want to screen your thoughts a little, however one thing I noticed I do after reading the book I really appreciate Models by Mark Manson, is I tend to tell someone what something reminds me of. From the get go it helps build a connection because I expose myself to her. If a woman talks about her hair it should trigger a thought for you, expose that thought.
Peace and Love,