I wrote this post on a forum a few months ago, and never got around to reposting it on the site but it is a great article.
I am in the minority on the pick up community when it comes to sex, I don’t place it high in my life. I love sex, it is awesome it is fun, but there are things far more important than sex going on in my life. As a guy that refuses to publicize my private life to the internet I get a lot of static (criticism), on my website, on as forum, on my videos, even on my facebook fan page I’ve had people say that I was some loser that can’t get laid. It really doesn’t matter to me that much when someone has animosity toward me and says “You can’t get laid.” Honestly what is the obsession with needing to get laid? People seem to measure your value by your sex life, does that really make sense? Don’t forget you are full of shit if you don’t post field reports in the pua community, is the mentality.
Go over this in your head one time: What is the attitude of the guy who gets laid a lot in regards to sex? It’s NO BIG DEAL, that attitude is a part of his assets when it comes to his ability to get laid. Someone who goes around and spreads his sex life around, his closing rate, him fucking x girls in x days shows nothing but a lack of confidence and a huge ego. Why do you need to qualify for us? Who the fuck are we that it matters that you got laid x many times in x many days?
I am kind of getting just down right tired of this form of measurement in the PUA community, so many dick measuring contests around. One of the big reasons I don’t post too often on the forum (in 5 years I have 1400 posts). Everyone has this obsession with the guy who gets laid the most, or being the guy who gets laid the most. The irony of all of it is your obsession with getting laid ultimately works against you, the times when I was in a dry spell were times when I was unhappy and constantly thinking about getting laid. How do I have to approach her? What should I say? Bla Bla Bla – all these bull shit thoughts got in the way of actually getting laid. Why? Because getting laid is easy, it’s you that makes getting laid hard. People don’t realize getting laid is more about getting out of your own way then doing all the right shit when you have good attractive traits. A woman more easily forgives a man she is attracted to when he makes mistakes throughout courtship.
Rather than worrying about getting laid and forcing things, learn to just have attractive habits (this can be tedious but worth it) and escalate – that’s it. Don’t worry about getting laid, forcing it and thinking about and only worrying about it won’t make you happy. Define what you want and go after that, whether that is to fuck 10 girls, or 100, whether that is to find a wife, a girlfriend, or whatever else. You knowing what you want in your love life will help you birds eye everything.
Happiness thought: Do you think guy A who has fucked 1000 girls is happier then guy B with a wife, 2 kids, and a dog? It all depends on what the guy wanted, the guy who is happiest defines what he wants and goes after it. That’s cool you want to fuck 50 girls whatever, but in my experiences when you are running up your numbers you aren’t making yourself happier (in fact when I was going through them fast my life was way more stressful). Your actions can make you happy or not but that is up to you. My personal happiness isn’t defined by the amount of girls I sleep with, it never will be, perhaps your happiness is linked to fucking 100s of women that is cool too, it’s just not for me.
Two things I think a lot of people miss in the PUA community: You obsessing with getting laid won’t get you laid and You getting laid won’t make you happy.
Your belt notches don’t make you “The Man” or happy. You aren’t the shit because you fucked 2000 women, you aren’t the man from fucking a few drunk women a week. Every fishermen knows if you go fishing every day you catch fish every day, if you stay out until you hit your quota then you’ll get your quota every day. Similarly once you hit a certain point you can go out on any night in a metropolitan area (need options) and go get laid because getting laid isn’t that fucking difficult. Obsessing over getting laid is what makes it difficult.
My next statement plays more off the fishermen thought, each fishermen has his own technique and thus the time it will work, some of us go fishing at night and some of us go fishing during the day. Just because a person doesn’t go to the bar every weekend doesn’t mean he doesn’t get laid. Going to the club isn’t the only place to pick up girls. That was another response that has happened multiple times and even recently when I was attacked in the PUA community. You probably don’t even go out. What the fuck does going out at night have to do with getting laid? Not one fucking thing.
SDLs are a lot more difficult than SNL no doubt but you can create a lengthy list of phone numbers and still get laid with regularity by regular every day game. You can collect “leads”(numbers) to get laid anywhere: I’ve got numbers at work (co-workers and customers), fast food restaurants, sit down restaurants, bus rides, airplane, and even walking down the street.
So guys stop obsessing about all the bull shit when comes to getting laid, learn some sexual escalation and tension techniques, but focus on yourself and revealing how attractive you are to others.
It’s not about getting laid, or club game, or night game, it is about just being happy. Get over your numbers, get over your ego, and get over close rate. Just be happy and attractive, that will get you laid because to anyone that has gotten fair amount of tail getting laid is just NO BIG DEAL. Take on that attitude you’ll be happier and more appealing to women.
Peace and Love,