Alpha, Attraction, Body Language, Courtship, Opening Women

Why So Serious?

Hey guys, special treat for you here guys, a great guest blog from Big C of Keys to Attraction. I highly recommend you go over and subscribe to his stuff. He puts out some great shit! Enjoy!

Whats goin on my ‘Science of Natural Game’ friends?! For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Big C and I am the writer responsible for the ‘Keys To Attraction’ blog series here on WordPress. I am graciously honored that Vic bestowed the honor of being able to throw down some words for you here on SNG.  Today Im gonna touch base on why you should loosen up when your speaking with members of the opposite sex. A lot of times you see a guy speaking to a girl for the first time and it appears that he has something stuck so far up his ass its effecting his fun gene.

This shit don’t fly fellas! What you have to understand is that interacting is FUN. People enjoy interacting with one another, hence why Facebook, Twitter and other social media sites are so successful!

One of the most important elements to being successful with women is learning how to not be so serious all the time. And the great irony that I’ve discovered is that often, the folks who have to deal with the most stressful careers or situations are AWESOME at understanding this.

This was a hard concept for me to initially internalize. I used to have this impression that being more cold and stone-faced and serious all the time (I know, hard to believe) was the way we were supposed to behave. Not only was it because it just FELT right to be serious, but I also figured that being NOT serious would make people treat you with less respect. Well guess what? Not only is learning to be more light-hearted HEALTHY for you in your ability to DEAL with stress, but it also conveys to OTHERS that you in fact ARE “significant” and “worthy”. Acting all serious all the time doesn’t necessarily make others want to respect you any more at all. In fact, being too serious in your social interactions with people conveys that you don’t understand social interaction, and also that you cannot control your own emotions and your own life. Bad! There is a time for being serious, sure. An air traffic controller obviously must concentrate on what he or she is doing, for the sake of those on the plane, but does that mean when off work he has to be equally serious? FUCK NO, and in fact it would probably be a good idea to decompress with some light stuff. And definitely you don’t want to be in a serious mood when you are first chatting up a woman. Ever notice how even Presidents and Prime Ministers when they start a speech almost always have some humor in it at the beginning? Not only does this help relax the audience, but it also conveys PERSONALITY and makes you feel closer to that person. It in NO WAY makes you respect or care about that person any LESS. It only INCREASES your interest in that person. And it shows you are confident enough to not have to show the world how serious your life is to get respect. It also shows you don’t need pity.

So, in many ways, a sense of humor shows STRENGTH and SUPERIORITY.

As a guy who used to be way too serious with girls himself, I can truly understand just how difficult it can sometimes be to let go of that attitude. It took a little while for me to get really comfortable letting go of all that seriousness with women. In the workshops, bootcamps, and consultations I have been giving for well over a year now, one of the areas that I focus on changing most for guys is this over-seriousness, especially seriousness about women. Weeding out all the elements such as incorrect body language, tonality, and socially-off behaviors that SHOW over seriousness is a major part of becoming successful with women. There are tons of ways to convey light-heartedness, from your voice tone to body language to facial expressions and of course the things you say. And you can learn to automatically trigger a lot of these things when you understand the exact MENTAL FRAME you need to TRULY be in to attract women. And the greatest thing about this frame is that not only does it attract women, but it makes YOU feel great as well!!!! That’s a bonus if I’ve ever heard one! Instead of feeling creepy or manipulative or perverted, it just feels natural, and it feels GOOD. This is not just about teasing girls in a playful sense, which is effective as well.

For example- if I see a woman who is really gorgeous buying chips at the drugstore, and I tease her for starring in the sequel to ‘Supersize Me’, and she laughs and hits me, and I tell her that obviously her junk food diet is making her hyper and violent, that is way more fun and relaxing and enjoying the moment than ‘Uhhh, what aisle did you get those chips in?’  But at the same time, I don’t need to only tease girls, it’s all part of a much larger IDENTITY of what kind of attitude you take with you everywhere- this is where the REAL attraction kicks in big time.

Some guys think that this teasing is about making girls feel bad. That is NOT what this is about. If your aura and vibe is giving off negative emotions, it will fail, no matter how brilliant you think your tease is. All this stuff has to be coming from a very good place inside of you, especially for LONG TERM success. It comes through in subtleties in your voice tonality, in your body language, in your timing, in your expressions. There are a ton of things that happen in an ATTRACTIVE tease that ensure the feelings  she gets are only GOOD feelings, not negative ones.  Remember, this is about an IDENTITY of who you ARE. You take this attitude with you everywhere instead of allowing yourself to get sucked into the ‘matrix’ of the mundane. And even in the beginning, while you are just LEARNING this frame, the very fact you can at least UNDERSTAND the frame will enable you to get some pretty cool results immediately.

There’s a whole universe of reasons for this that I explain in far further detail in my studies and live boot camps, but the main point I want to make here is that you will not create the OVERWHELMINGLY POWERFUL EMOTIONS OF ATTRACTION in a woman if you come across as too serious, especially in your initial pick-up. It just says all the wrong things- it says you are uncomfortable, it says you are afraid of approaching her, it says you are lacking something, it says you are not socially experienced and thus you are somewhat socially retarded (which is a huge issue to women for reasons beyond the scope of this article), and it says you are not fun. It also makes her feel SCARED in the sense that she is thinking “Why is this total STRANGER being so damn serious?” That makes her feel as if you are desperate or just plain creepy.

Plus there is one other issue:

Seriousness can easily trigger her anti-slut radar. She’s thinking “Well, since he is not having fun in this conversation, the only motivation he has is sex. He is not enjoying the conversation itself. He is either needy or planning on murdering me in a dark alley.”

Now, of course, this is just what she is THINKING. No one ever said her thoughts were correct. But you have to understand that to a woman, it can feel pretty scary to be labeled a slut, in fact it’s scary for her if she even thinks that she MIGHT be behaving like a slut according to herself.

This is just one more reason, by the way, why you should relax no matter WHAT a woman’s response is to your approach.

You see, the truth is women and men don’t go through the same socialization process. Men are expected to take action, women are expected to try to attract men. I’m not saying that men and women don’t sometimes break these social “rules”, but in general that’s how it goes. And the one OTHER thing women are expected to do when a guy takes action is show the guy she is not easy.

THIS is a HUGE reason why there are so many games being played between men and women.

This anti-slut or anti-“easy” thing is powerful stuff. It’s not that women don’t want you to approach them, it’s that they are conditioned to show you they aren’t easy.

So you have to remember that even if a woman doesn’t seem thrilled with your approach, it is NOT necessarily because they wouldn’t want to be with you.

I MEAN THIS HONESTLY.

So don’t beat yourself up and start whining just because the first girl you went up to didn’t grab you by the shirt and drag you to the nearest bed. Of course, if you don’t know how to bathe or if you walk around with a psycho smile, then this doesn’t apply. But VERY OFTEN, the ONLY reason a woman will act shocked is because you approached her in a way that made her feel like you just want to use her for a quick lay. Because you were too serious and not just enjoying the moment for its own sake and letting HER decide if she wants to find out more about you or not. Now, some guys actually understand the PROBLEM, but their SOLUTION is no good either. They decide to become her FRIEND. Well, sure, a woman will let you become her friend, because that does not violate the “anti-easy” principle, but that doesn’t help you of course. This is where being more PLAYFUL allows her to not take the interaction too seriously and gives her OPTIONS and breathing space.  It lets her know that you aren’t DEMANDING or EXPECTING anything, it lets her know that you are probably a desirable guy if you don’t need to push yourself so seriously, and it lets her know that you aren’t TAKING anything from her. And all this lets her know that you will in fact BOTH have a FUN conversation regardless of what happens. Which buys you the time to show your sexy personality. With her shields down now, THIS allows her to actually let her REAL ATTRACTION to you naturally grow. Nature is powerful stuff, and works best when you don’t try to seriously tell it what to do. Let the NATURAL VIBES flow from just being there with her in a non- uptight fashion. THIS is the stuff that has kept the human race on this planet. One part of what I do is help guys get BACK to nature by eradicating all the artificially learned negative behaviors guys got brainwashed to believe. The way to MAKE attraction happen is to stop INTERFERING with it’s natural process. Most of the modern stuff guys learned to supposedly attract women actually INTERFERES with attraction. If you’d like to learn all about how to be playful in a powerful confident way that has nothing to do with being a goof, and if you’d like to learn how to prevent triggering her “creepy-guy radar”,  which ultimately leads you to more success which lets be honest here, WINS ARE GOOD

Got a question or idea for Keys To Attraction, want Big C to guest blog for you OR want to guest blog for KTA? Hit me up with an email at keys.to.attraction@live.ca
As always, dont forget to like this post, leave a comment below, spread the word, subscribe, add me to your circles in the  Keys To Attraction and follow me on Twitter (www.twitter.com/YYChristian)
 
Until Next Time….
 
Yours In Attraction,
-Big C-

Thank YOU so much for the Blog! Great stuff guys! I agree wholeheartedly serious is damn overrated! If you want to get some learn to have fun. If you guys want the science of why you should loosen up and how stress is a sign of beta while having fun is a sign of alpha you can watch my alpha video or you can read this blog.

Peace and Love

Vic

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About Science of Natural Game

I understand what it’s like to be that guy who struggles with women. I was god awful with women, I not once but twice went multiple years without sex, and I promise it wasn’t by choice. Ignorance played a large role in my issues with women, if I would have known now back in the days my dating life would have never slouched. I got desperate for affection with women, I wished I could have more. I read those pick up manuals, I read books by scientists on courtship. I went out and experienced what worked for me, and what “worked for others”. I found a process that makes every man skilled with women. I realized something else, yeah some of this stuff might work for some guys but we are all a little different and that’s a good thing… what I say may not be what you say, but there is a simple science and process to getting good with women and if you follow this process you will indeed be happy with your abilities with women. The most important thing for me is for you to be you, I don’t want to change who you are, I want you to love who you are, I want you to understand who you are, and I want you to be happy about all of it. I won’t ask you to dress up in peacocking outfit, I’ll ask you to be the most attractive guy by giving you skills and assets. Being you will be the peacock, will get you the attention of beautiful women. Most guys will simply tell you what to say and that will get you laid… but what happens when I am not here to tell you what to say? When what I have to say feels bland and not quite you? I don’t want you to be anyone else but you, the best you and the Man you want to be. I won’t tell you what to say, I’ll teach you to have a conversation. I won’t lie to you, I’ll tell you how it is and give you the facts. I won’t say it to be mean, I will say it for you to grow and become your best you with women and for you. I want you to be honest, knowledgeable, and sexy, and you will be when I’m done with you. Knowledge is power, and honesty is sexy…. I am not asking you to be anyone else, after all everyone else is already taken. If you need help or support with anything I am here, because I care about you. I want you to be a great, I want you to be all you can be. I want you to be your best self and that means I am here to support you in all your endeavors in life, not just with women but living the life you want… if you want to travel let’s figure out how, if you want to dance let’s teach you, if it’s weight loss let’s figure it out, if you want to surf let’s get you on a board, let’s give you the life you want and dream about, to let you be the you dream of being. I feel there is a process to getting women and more importantly getting good with women, it’s a science and if you follow the process it will work for you. Science isn’t about what’s true, as the truth is merely a perception science is the process we conclude will give us results… that’s what I give guys – results, the ability to get the women that will make them happy and help them live the life they love. Peace and Love, Vic

Discussion

9 thoughts on “Why So Serious?

  1. Thanks brother!!! Glad you like it!

    Posted by YYChristian | 10/07/2012, 11:08 pm
  2. Reblogged this on Keys To Attraction and commented:
    Big ups to my boy Vic for allowing me the honor to throw down some work on his amazing blog! Thank you V for the opportunity!

    Posted by YYChristian | 10/07/2012, 11:11 pm
  3. Good stuff. Women love to laugh and unless you’re at a funeral a good laugh is worth good boy points.

    Posted by Karmic Diva | 11/07/2012, 2:28 pm
    • Even at a funeral serious is damn overrated. People better not be crying at my funeral. It better be a fun big ass party. Celebrate the good times we had and repeat them!

      People seem to think there is a time and a place for goofing off, there really isn’t. You can lighten the mood where ever you are, I do it at work. I’ve done it at funerals, weddings, anniversary parties, it’s all about just having a good time. Too many people take life to seriously, you’re never gonna get out alive loosen up.

      Posted by The Science of Natural Game | 11/07/2012, 2:58 pm
  4. much of what is contained within the body of the text is interesting, relevant and applicable. however, your use of bold lettering, capitals, italics etc is really irritating. are all the blogs on your site edited in such a way? did you think we needed certain words shouted at us? do you think that intellectual standards are lower on vic’s blog? please let the words you write speak for themselves in future. thanks

    Posted by nezim | 21/07/2012, 1:33 am
  5. Hello, I would like to subscribe for this web site to take most recent updates,
    so where can i do it please help.

    Posted by rooms in norwegian epic | 30/06/2013, 3:51 am
  6. I for all time emailed this webpage post page to all my contacts, because if like to read it after that my friends will too.

    Posted by CNPC | 30/06/2013, 7:22 am

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