Attraction, Body Language, Courtship, Initial Attraction, Tips and Philosophys

How to Connect with that Sexy Dame: The Science behind Connecting- Part 4: What to Say, How to Talk, and Concluding

Whoops accidental publish.

The Voice

Vocal Tone

When it comes to building rapport through words it’s the same holds true as the rest you try and be like them by matching the tone of their voice, this could be a gentle tone, a flirtatious tone, etc.

Vocal Speed

You also want to match the speed, if you are talking at the same or a similar speed it helps you guys fall into sync. You want to be on the same page as them and that means not talking slower or faster than them but at the same pace, it seems pretty basic but you’d be surprised how often people don’t pay attention to how out of sync they are from simply the speed of your voice.

Decibel Level

You do want to talk at the same decibel level as them, this means talking at a level that isn’t too loud. You don’t want to sound as if you are yelling at someone in an intimate moment. If she is whispering in your ear, you simply whisper back. Note: I tend to use a slightly lower voice so that a woman comes to me in some environments anyways.

Is she Auditory, Visual, or Kinesthetic?

When a person talks they tend to say words that tell you a lot about the NLP system they are in. If a woman is a visual person she might say “I see what you are saying” or “I can see that.”  If a person is kinesthetic they might say “I feel you” or “That’s solid” things you feel instead of see or hear. An auditory person might say “I hear that” or “That sounds crazy.” The easiest way to connect with them verbally is to capitalize on whatever system they are in. So when you talk to someone in that system you say it like they would. “I see your point.” “I understand how you feel.” “I hear what you are saying.” This is a simple thing but it is something that is hard to pay attention to, it can be used to build any relationship but is especially good during courtship as it helps show you connect and speak directly to them.

Repeating their words

Some of us have certain catch phrases or use certain words. I say a lot of very different phrases but if I come across a woman that has a certain habit of using a word I would use it too, this helps make us similar. If a woman says “that is hella crazy” uses hella a lot, I might adapt that into my vocabulary for a little bit to help connect. If she uses the word like I might use like a little more, that said I also might poke fun at their use of the word so that I can use the word and get a smile. It helps build rapport and shows I am paying attention to them.

Note: Don’t overuse the word or this tactic loses its’ value, just use the word they are using more often than you normally would

Saying their Name

This again is an age old tactic, the most beautiful word we hear is our own name. Our own name is something we love to hear, our mother called is it as babies. It evokes a certain response (with the correct pronunciation and tone), I can’t really describe it but as I already said we love the sound our own name. Again don’t over use it.

Using You and We over I

There is something you will notice about certain people. Leaders and confident people tend use the words You and We more often, whereas followers or sheep tend to use the word I more often. Using words like You and We over I speaks more directly to them and thus helps build a connection. Dr. Pennebaker explains how you can tell if there will be date just based off of speech pattern.

We is especially good because we means you guys are doing it together. “We should walk outside and continue this conversation.” “We should go grab a drink.” They are inclusive words and they couple you guys already even if you aren’t already a couple. It’s very important to understand that words tell us something about someone on a subconscious level, what and how a person says something usually gives us a feeling. That feeling is normally what we associate with that person and thus we can like or hate someone based merely off voice.

Wrapping it Up

Connecting with someone is very simple it is as simple as being like that person: sounding, feeling, acting, body language, etc. When we listen we build a connection and when we talk we build attraction, this means that we may start out talking to build attraction but in order to advance courtship, to build a connection, you need to learn to be a man that listens. This is how close the deal versus opening the deal, opening is as easy as being open, available, and attractive, closing is “a whole ‘nother can of worms” that requires a connection and some sexual tension.

How to Connect with that Sexy Dame: The Science behind Connecting- Part 1: Experiences and Eye Contact

How to Connect with that Sexy Dame: The Science behind Connecting- Part 2: Mirroring

How to Connect with that Sexy Dame: The Science behind Connecting- Part 3: Breathing and Touching

How to Connect with that Sexy Dame: The Science behind Connecting- Part 4: How to Talk, What to Say, and Concluding


About Science of Natural Game

I understand what it’s like to be that guy who struggles with women. I was god awful with women, I not once but twice went multiple years without sex, and I promise it wasn’t by choice. Ignorance played a large role in my issues with women, if I would have known now back in the days my dating life would have never slouched. I got desperate for affection with women, I wished I could have more. I read those pick up manuals, I read books by scientists on courtship. I went out and experienced what worked for me, and what “worked for others”. I found a process that makes every man skilled with women. I realized something else, yeah some of this stuff might work for some guys but we are all a little different and that’s a good thing… what I say may not be what you say, but there is a simple science and process to getting good with women and if you follow this process you will indeed be happy with your abilities with women. The most important thing for me is for you to be you, I don’t want to change who you are, I want you to love who you are, I want you to understand who you are, and I want you to be happy about all of it. I won’t ask you to dress up in peacocking outfit, I’ll ask you to be the most attractive guy by giving you skills and assets. Being you will be the peacock, will get you the attention of beautiful women. Most guys will simply tell you what to say and that will get you laid… but what happens when I am not here to tell you what to say? When what I have to say feels bland and not quite you? I don’t want you to be anyone else but you, the best you and the Man you want to be. I won’t tell you what to say, I’ll teach you to have a conversation. I won’t lie to you, I’ll tell you how it is and give you the facts. I won’t say it to be mean, I will say it for you to grow and become your best you with women and for you. I want you to be honest, knowledgeable, and sexy, and you will be when I’m done with you. Knowledge is power, and honesty is sexy…. I am not asking you to be anyone else, after all everyone else is already taken. If you need help or support with anything I am here, because I care about you. I want you to be a great, I want you to be all you can be. I want you to be your best self and that means I am here to support you in all your endeavors in life, not just with women but living the life you want… if you want to travel let’s figure out how, if you want to dance let’s teach you, if it’s weight loss let’s figure it out, if you want to surf let’s get you on a board, let’s give you the life you want and dream about, to let you be the you dream of being. I feel there is a process to getting women and more importantly getting good with women, it’s a science and if you follow the process it will work for you. Science isn’t about what’s true, as the truth is merely a perception science is the process we conclude will give us results… that’s what I give guys – results, the ability to get the women that will make them happy and help them live the life they love. Peace and Love, Vic

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