When it comes to courtship one of the final phases of Timothy Perper’s courtship process is falling in sync and this is where a couple starts to mirror each other. Mirroring also referred to as gesture echo, or isopraxism used is a commonly recommended in a lot of rapport building books, as well as NLP and sales books. It is pretty basic when it comes to building a connection you copy their body language.
(Completely facing each other, hands on each other, similar stance)
There are many things you can copy when it comes to body language the main ones are: stance, hands, face, posture, torso, motions, and actions.
Stance- Stance is easy and a lot of times a woman won’t be paying attention to the way she is standing but most women like to stand with one hip up and out a little more often to emphasize her sexuality.
(Standing Like Each Other)
Example: So as a joke you can do this back to her. I might jokingly have a feminine stance copying her and a lot of times it works very well. It helps build rapport by copying and just as importantly usually gets them to crack a smile.
Hands and Arms- Hands and arms are very simple when it comes to mirroring someone. Sometimes a woman may extend her arm across a table, you simply do the same. Be careful as this is a response to her so you can be under-responsive if you don’t go for the touch or over-responsive if she isn’t ready for it.
(Hands resting similarly)
Example 1: I once opened a sexy woman at the club who seemed to be having a horrible time, she had her arms crossed, and she was leaning back on the stool. My buddy attempted to approach her and got shut down. I simply walked up, sat on the stool next to her and smiled. I crossed my arms and simply said “Can I have a horrible time with you?” She smiled at me and leaned over and started a conversation right up.
Example 2: You can also copy a woman’s gestures. If she has a certain idiosyncratic behavior such as a certain specific hand movement, putting her hand towards her throat to expose it. I might copy it flirting with her.
Face- The face is very complicated humans make as many as 10,000 different faces. Copying their face helps do one very important thing, experience that emotion they are having. Whatever face we make even if we force it we eventually take on that emotion.
(Making Faces flirting with Each other)
Example 1: When I flirt with a woman I may just make funny faces at her, and she copies them or I may smile back. It is very basic but it works very well when it comes to building a connection.
Example 2: A person telling a story makes a face when she re-experiences the story by telling it. When you copy her face throughout the story you experience the story and the same emotion she gives when she tells it. This helps build a connection because you were there for that experience at this moment.
Posture- very easy and more often than not works on a subconscious level because we do not pay attention as often and thus they don’t notice that they like you because you guys are falling in sync together.
(They both lean in with their torso and with similar posture)
Example: You can use your posture to joke with a shy girl by pushing your shoulders up and doing the turtle like her. It’s a good move and helps you identify with her. I’ve used this several times works very well.
Torso- One of the easiest ways to make sure you are not an over-responsive male is to copy her torso. This is very basic there is no need for an example. You copy how far she leans in. You copy the angle at which she looks at you, as attraction changes to sexual tension you will start to face each other more directly until you are completely facing each other.
Motions- Copying the motion of someone also helps build a connection. When you get to the final phases of courtship (falling in sync) you often start copying motions. This includes moving at the same speed and intensity of the other person.
(Look at their feet as they walk in Sync)
Example: A woman may do an exaggerated movement. You copy it joking and flirting back with her. One woman I know has a habit of putting her hands on her hips, and kind of pushing up her chest. I copied her and joked with her about being alpha and taking up too much space “sheez a little territorial?”
Actions- One very subtle thing I’ve used is copying actions. This could be several different things.
Example 1: I use this all the time and you should too. Copy when a woman takes a drink of water. A woman takes a drink of water and 20 seconds or a little more later you take a drink as well, so that you guys are alike.
Example 2: A woman may put on Chapstick or lip stick to preen for you, she is adjusting her appearance to look better. One of the reasons I carry chapstick is to practice isopraxism, I’ve done this simple motion on the dance floor and had women dance up on me.