I apologize for the length of the blog in advance.
This is a story of what happened the other night at the bar. You guys can get a good idea of how natural I do things and what I see throughout a night. Some attraction signs, neutralizing a guy when he creeps up on you, and identifying whether the woman is just with a guy or actually dating him. I use a very natural game, quite situational, humor, body language, charisma, and personality are huge for me. While I’m a good looking guy with style, I am not a hot guy, I’m a short thick guy with pretty eyes.
So I went to the bar the other night, there was a sexy dame I was digging on there. She was there with a guy, and I was talking to these gentlemen I just met an hr or so earlier.
They looked over and said “the only sexy girl here is with that guy” I laughed and said “she isn’t dating that guy.”
They looked at me and said “whatever man.”
I laughed again and said “Dude, it’s super obvious.”
How the fuck did they not see it I was thinking? Then it all came to me, oh shit I read things naturally now and these guys had no clue how to tell if a woman was with a guy. So I continued on to tell these guys how things are very obvious when a woman is with a guy.
I said something along the lines of “A woman who is dating a man shows more intimacy. She doesn’t just sit there and sit that far away from her boyfriend when he is the only one at the table. She touches him more often. It is just a different type of interaction.”
The Technical of Knowing She wasn’t Seeing him
When I look around and see people interact there are many different types of interaction but we really need to only go over two for courtship, a sexual relationship and a nonsexual relationship. When you want to tell if a woman and a man are dating you look for signs of intimacy. I’m not going to go over looking for a kiss, holding hands or any of the complete obvious.
-A woman in a relationship tends to stand closer to the man. She will be standing within that intimate zone of 24 inches. If you want to go freak people out go stand too close.
-She will touch him more often. We touch those we are intimate with. I’m not talking about a flirtatious shoulder bump. I’m talking about long sensual touches, lasting more than an instant. The placement of the touch will also be more intimate areas than the upper arm. She will touch his lower back, grab his pants, wrap her arms around him, elbow, the touch will be far different than that if merely an interest or that of a friend. Remember LONGER and MORE INTIMATE.
-Hand touching is pretty basic. This doesn’t happen every time but I rarely see folks in a relationship that don’t at least touch hands. Hand touching is pretty intimate believe it or not. We don’t shake hands with people we don’t like most of the time. If a woman and a man are consistently touching hands they are normally in a relationship.
-Their torsos will be facing each other more often. This is also a biggie, because if that woman is facing her torso away from the guy or constantly neutral than she isn’t normally interested in him sexually.
-Eye contact is something you will say happen often. When we are in a relationship or sexually interested we will make stronger eye contact with that woman. She will be making stronger eye contact with the gentlemen she is with.
-Sending attraction cues to other men.
Back to Our regular scheduled Story
This woman wasn’t doing any of these things(except sending attraction signals). Her eyes were on a pool table it was obvious she loved the game. I knew she wasn’t completely interested in him at this point he would have to change up his game to close this deal.
They looked at me and I said “Watch I’ll go find out.”
I had already complimented her shoes early in the night on a walk by (I grant a lot of compliments). She was sending me attraction cues here and there after I complimented her. So I walked up while the guy wasn’t around and I said “Oh where’d your boyfriend go?” Easiest open ever, you don’t seem as though you are hitting on her and I knew the answer beforehand. You seem like you aren’t there to just play swoops. Of course I have a very nonthreatening style and since I read the interaction it was easy.
She said “Oh That guy? God no he’s not my boyfriend. I’m actually newly single, 2 months single.” She was already telling me she was single, she was letting me know things about her and was completely comfortable talking to me.
I’m a huge lover of pool, it’s something I’ve played a lot of. I have literally invested thousands of dollars and hrs in learning pool. So I always watch folks play pool. Since I had already noticed she had a keen interest in pool, she was almost always looking at the pool table.
So I said “I love playing pool it’s such an awesome game. I’ve played thousands of hrs of this game.”
She looked at me and said “I love pool it reminds me of my grandpa. He taught me to play pool growing up.” I was already building a connection by showing our common passion. She was connecting me with good feelings, which usually lead to a solid attraction.
Her Initial Signals of Attraction
-We were making strong eye contact but she would look down here and there sending a submissive signal.
-She was fidgeting with her earrings (preening).
-She also adjusted her hair again preening.
-Her laugh and smile was a loose one, her head was like a bobble head while she laughed.
-Her head was turned slightly as she flirted.
All these were showing both initial signs of comfort and attraction.
Back to Our regular scheduled Story
I looked at her and said “I can tell you’ve played a lot of pool, you have a very good straight stroke, and I mean that in a purely nonsexual way(I joked). Your stance is very good. It is very obvious you have the fundamentals.”
She looked at me and said “Thank you. So much, I can’t play anymore because I rarely touch a table.”
“Yeah it takes a minute to get it back if you don’t play for a bit,” I responded.
Then the guy walked up. I seen his face and his torso, he wasn’t happy to see a guy talking to her. I realized oh shit I need to neutralize this big bald guy is going to whoop my ass with his tattooed knucks on my forehead. Not that I can’t handle myself but I’m respectful. I know exactly how to neutralize a guy when he walks up looking threatened.
I walked up and said “Hi, I’m Victor.” I extended my hand to shake his hand smiling. This is the easiest way to neutralize rather than disappear, hit it head on. As soon as you introduce yourself in a friendly way with a good solid hand shake you make friends rather than enemies. I also said “Bla was just telling me her love pool, I love pool. She has a very good stance, a good stroke, and solid fundamentals.” I built rapport with him right away and became nonthreatening, but he knew she still was attracted.
He looked at me and we began to bull shit a bit. I explained to him a little about a good stance. I noticed he had a tattoo and I asked him what it said “Muay Thai.” I was like oh snap, this fool is going to wreck me, I got me a big bald fool annoyed I was talking to a woman he wants.
“That’s cool how long you been doing that?”
“13 years,” he said.
“Damn, you must be a bad ass. Are you a pro?” I said.
“Yeah, I am. I train at 21st st gym.”
“Sweet, what’s your record?”
“12-0” he said.
I thought oh fuck, I just moved in on a woman who has an undefeated Muay Thai kick boxer after her, that can’t be good. “Wow, You are a bad ass all quiet in the corner. I’m more of a sissy la la. I’m not big on fighting.”
His response “Me neither.”
I want to say this, this gentleman exuded confidence. He had nothing to prove, he wasn’t flaunting it. Each statement was its own. He was a cool confident guy, his body language was that of a bad ass no doubt, but he lacked that charisma I had. I was making her smile and laugh. I made her feel good with my compliment early in the night. I was having fun and while he was alpha, I was a fun, confident, different type of alpha.
We ended up back in a 3 way conversation chatting. He was a pretty cool cat once I got him comfortable. So we went back to talking to the woman, I again complimented the woman on her abilities and mentioned stance. I went over why hers was so good to the guy. He said “What’s mine like?”
“I was too busy checking out your ass, I just couldn’t look you in the feet.” We all laughed. I said “I actually just noticed as I was walking past but no offense, she’s a lot prettier than you are.” I smiled and joked with a nonthreatening tone. He agreed and laughed.
“Weren’t you here with a bunch of people? Where’d they all go?” The sexy dame asked.
“Oh all those people? I didn’t know any of them. I just am that weird guy that gets along with everybody if you can’t tell. I only came with my one friend.” I laughed and my contagious laugh caused them to laugh.
You guys keep in mind all this conversation happened in a 5 minute span (maybe less). I built rapport and a connection with 2 people in 5 minutes. Got the DL on the woman’s dating life. Built some attraction with the cute woman. This is how quick courtship and connection can happen.
At this point my buddy came back. “Hey —-, Where’d you go?”
“I went to close out. Took a minute” he responded. I introduced everyone.
The woman looked up and said “Why don’t we play a game?”
“Partners?” I asked.
We set it up and played a game of pool but I was a little too drunk to play well to be honest. So we kind of banged them around. I was talking to the guy and telling him why the woman’s stance was so good and how it balances out. We agreed the key to everything in most things a good stance, I used Muay Thai as an example and how important it is.
I flirted with this woman and bumped shoulders having fun. Obviously touch and being inside the intimate zone is a sign of attraction. While we would touch we would make strong eye contact and then she would send submissive and/or preen in some way while he was shooting.
How did she Preen?
-Grab her earrings adjusting them
-Touch her hair moving it(her most frequent tell)
-Straighten her skirt
-Straighten her shirt
What submissive signals did she send?
-Exposed wrists/Open palms
She was sending multiple clusters involving some these things. Clusters are obviously very important in body language.
I decided as he got more territorial and started putting his arm around her it was a bad idea to continue to try and bag this one. To be honest when I went up to them initially I was hoping they were just close friends not possible sex interests. Her body language towards him early in the night showed no attraction before I went over to her, she was far more attracted to the pool table than him.
I hope you guys got something out of this. This was merely a 30 minute (at best) interaction. I play quick pool games (10 minutes is a pretty long game for me.) You can build attraction very quickly, if I would have had my buddy running interference alright I could have snagged that woman’s number but it really wasn’t worth finding out if he actually would kick my ass over this. There was enough attraction, and all I had to say is “we should meet up and shoot some pool again sometime.” Naturally asking for a number so we can hang out and play sharing our passion, it would seem like no big deal.