I am close friends with a pair very gorgeous women, ridiculously gorgeous women. To say the least they are some damn cool unfortunately guarded dames, I don’t befriend women simply over looks. The irony of all the information I provide to everyone who reads everything I write is I still turn into a little bitch when I hang with a Dope Dame, they can still paralyze me. I know how to act, I know what to look for, I know how to escalate, I know when she wants me to escalate, I know how to get a woman off 20 times, so why not act like a little bitch and say “oh I wonder if she likes me?” With all of my studies of emotions I’m still not impervious, sometimes we let our insecurities and emotions own us. I have to say to myself “It’s important to just pay attention to the message.”
Every time I kick it with these dames I want one(well both really) but I can have the other(always the way right?). I understand the mindset of avoiding the communities bullshit term “one-itis” well yeah it can be a horrible thing, but if she is stuck on you it ain’t such a bad thing, just when the attraction isn’t reciprocated is it a bad thing. So what do you do when this dope dame is so guarded and you can’t do shit about it? Think about what you should never think about, her.
You ever come across someone where when you see her you feel your heart beat faster? Of course you have, every time I think of this girl my heart jumps up. She owns me and I play it off like it’s no big deal. WTF? Am I supposed to just ignore her texts and calls? Come over, come see me, I miss your face, and bla bla bla. Probably best but who avoids someone who elevates their heart and makes them smile from picturing a mere dimple? NO ONE, us guys act like little bitches and come over at their beck and call at night just to lay eyes on her knowing nothing is going to happen. How the fuck does that make sense?
So you go home unsatisfied and just as confused and because our thoughts are usually our dreams, you dream of her. Like that is going to help any. Your crush is consuming and you can’t do shit about it. So I go kick it with this dame and her best friend always(the sexy dame who digs me) comes shooting over. The whole time I got this gorgeous sexy woman all over me, wraps her arm around me, closes the distance, preens, smiles, bla bla bla, she obviously is attracted to me, and all I can think about is this other sexy dame. I have my hand on one and my mind on the other, while in the room with both.
The attraction exist from either women, sexual tension is underlying but a guarded woman doesn’t want to lose me as a friend and “ruin” what we have, our friendship means “too much”. Really? Fuck that, what a cop out statement. How would a relationship be bad with someone you are attracted to, have fun with, and matches your ideal guy?(not to sound arrogant, but why describe my traits?) I am not a guy that has been in a relationship, plenty of opportunities but I’m likely the most guarded guy every woman I’ve dated has ever dated. I know I’m a romantic, I know if I get in a relationship with any woman I will see her brilliance, after all brilliance exists in all of us. When I see that brilliance, that good in every women I’m terrified that I will fall for a woman.Why? Because at the end of the day I’m still a nice guy, I’m still an honest guy, and in the words of Bouncing Soul:
I don’t know what other people see
or what they think is love
But i know what it means to me
I fall in love so easily
And it’s hard to let your guard down
Something you never wanted to
I gave you my love and if you turned away
I guess i’d be screwed, but…
I’m a hopeless romantic
You’re just hopeless
What the fuck do you do in a situation like this? Where all you want to do is taste that first kiss? Obsess, dream, think, depress, everything that is a FAIL! You come over at night when she sends you those messages. You act like a jack ass, and you violate everything that got you into that confident mindset. The truth is I can get dozens of women, got 2 women’s numbers Friday night, both awesome women, but I don’t want any of them, I want one. I want this mature, strong, gorgeous, kind, intelligent woman with all the same interests. A woman I know who would push me to do more, who would just in general make me more. She is someone I would have no problem giving up every other woman who wants me for her. Why would I? I only want her.
So what do I do? Do I risk the friendship or regret not trying? Do I have the uncomfortable bull shit “I don’t want to be just your friend” talk? Do I try and get drunk with her one night, hope that sexual tension comes to we fruition and we hook up? Just hoping to be forced into the talk. She just sent me a message as I write this and the little bitch I am sends one right back. I guess the first step is admitting you have the problem, right? The next step is the one I have issue with.