Alright guys, I have been wanting to get this up for a few weeks. I wrote up a blog about don’t be “That Guy” but there is also the creepy guy. I went to a bar a little while back and it had a nice little dance floor. My buddy and I went out to the dance floor and were having some fun dancing when I noticed this guy who was showing his obvious interest in the girls, but what was disappointing was his lack of tact.
Space Invaders are not loved by anyone, we all love our space. When it comes down to the space we like it is all person to person. Studies have shown people from small towns want more space the people in large a metropolitan like folks from Boston, NYC, London, etc. is less. For me I hate having less then 3 ft in any direction. Where I have come across folks from New York who were comfortable just 6 inches away. When I watched this gentlemen show his attraction he literally walked up to within 20 inches to begin with. Make sure to give her space.
Touch people don’t always want to be touched, visual people especially(most of the world’s people are visual.) This guy not only closed the distance to early he also touched way way to early. They weren’t attracted anyways. So no attraction + standing close + Touching = VERY CREEPY. Don’t touch to early, it’s one thing if you have tact and come in with a playful attitude, it’s quite another to lean in and touch their lower back when you are already invading their space uncomfortably.
This guy leaned in on them. Not the most impressive move, he leaned in while they are dancing in a circle, they were obviously cutting him out. Don’t lean in on someone who has no attraction to you what so ever, horribly horribly creepy thing to do. Don’t be that Creepy Guy.
He drunkenly drooled words “you girls are hot,” like that is going to impress three attractive girls who weren’t trying to give him any ins as it is. Certainly avoid being the drunken guy, who grants compliments with no confidence. He said this stuff and did these bold moves but lacked that confidence, that extra pin-ash that made him have that extra little…. He didn’t have stout shoulders, a wide stance, head held high, he looked at them submissively as if they were above them, they agreed.
He followed them around the dance floor. Don’t ever follow someone if they are moving away from and not sending you positive signals(such as opening their dance circle to you). You should probably leave her alone she is moving away from you for a reason. Don’t take this as a complete message because people move around a dance floor for different reasons but if they won’t give you an opening such as opening their circle or keep moving away get the hint.
Which brings me to my next point, what is her body language saying? Not what is your mind saying about her body language, but what is her body language saying? We often times let our emotions see what they want. Please avoid this at all costs, read the message for what it is, don’t read the message you want to see. Pay attention we tend to avoid things we don’t like, are they avoiding you? Creepy guys miss this very important part of communication.
Lingering just makes you look sad and desperate, in pick up they talk about leaving and coming back. Don’t linger guys, it’s just creepy when you linger around to close and touchy, no one likes it. Nobody likes when you linger around, I disappear a lot when I run into a girl I like. Don’t linger around and become a stage 5 clinger. No one likes a clinger and you can come across as a clinger if you linger around, over responsive is not good.
My advice is a few simple questions if you feel you may be crossing the creepy barrier “Have I been overly responsive?” “Am I moving faster then her?” “Is she comfortable with me?” That should tell you what you need need to know.