Well, it’s been a long time and I apologize to anyone who enjoyed this blog. I’m trying to get back to doing it more consistently. As well as starting to get some more videos up and some articles written. I’ve been playing poker so much more lately that I haven’t really been going out with the intent to deal with attraction.
Situation: I went to kick it with a girl friend (literally friends) of mine as we had planned to hang out that night. When I got to her spot she had a beautiful green eyed brunette friend there, that I found out was going out with us. We were planning on going to a concert to watch my buddy play a show, well a few of my friends but I’m closest with the lead member (his name is the name of the band).
I got to my friend’s spot and she had her friend a fly green eyed brunette there, I just relaxed there and talked to the two of them. I did my usual style of joking around and flirting, adding small truths, building attraction, and I noticed the brunette, was most definitely interested in me. Realizing I had the rest of the night to build this up, elevate the intimacy, and eventually I would have her back at my friends spot I didn’t push things.
She was making strong eye contact while at my friends house, she was giving most of her interest, listening intently to me, when ever someone is interested in you they give you lots of eye contact because you are the most interesting thing to them. She was smiling at me, giving a genuine smile where you could see it by her eyes and relaxed jaw showing that she was genuinely happy, not the fake smile we often put on for strangers. Her head was turned slightly as she flirted, she was granting me a submissive signal often seen in courtship.
I noticed her torso was facing me, and was leaning toward me. Our torso tend to gravitate toward things we are attracted to. Torso is a great subconscious signal, most people don’t pay attention to this tell at a poker table, but it is very consistent as long as you pay attention to their first reaction. Pay close attention to where they lean and you will get a pretty honest reaction to how comfortable they are with you. We “run away” or lean away from things we don’t like, and we lean towards or close the distance with things we like.
When we got to the show I lost my friend and we ended up alone dancing a bit next to each other. She apparently knew one of my other friends in the band, so she paid special attention to him while he played. Through out the show we danced next to each other, copying each other, made strong eye contact, and dancing in rhythm. When you start gaining intimacy and start building attraction you end falling in sync, you start to close the distance, and you start to touch. We were doing all of these things (I even ended up with my arm around her) and we were making strong eye contact, the intimacy was building, the attraction had already been built.
She was consistently stroking her hair, she was preening, adjusting her appearance for me. A sign of insecurity and stress(arousal is a form of stress), is preening, a major part of attraction is insecurities and arousal. She was also adjusting her shirt and earrings, another couple of things girls do when they are attraction. I figured I had it in the bag, we were good.
Then the guitarist came around, and I noticed they had a thing going. She was obviously attracted to me but she also had something with this guy. She would grab him by the hand and lead him. So I backed off, I let it roll figuring I was her ride back and that so long as we end up alone together I was good. Then I found out he was coming over to my friend’s spot and everything was ruined. He was grabbing her ass here and there and staying close once he realized there was an attraction between us.
We eventually ended up alone and I asked if her boyfriend was coming. She quickly corrected me and said he isn’t my boyfriend. I said “well is he coming because I kind of want to bounce”. She said “I don’t know, I don’t care”, I get the feeling they were planning to hook up and had been flirting all week. I threw a wrench in there when she became attracted to me. She would have preferred to hook up with me but things were already set up.
We talked again in the car when I dropped someone else off and we ended up alone. She wanted to leave with me and grab food, she just wanted an excuse for it to be us, but she had arranged things with this other guy. The guitarist got her, had I done everything right this would have been an easy close, never assume the close until things are at a certain point.