So I want to change it up. I’ve been talking to you guys all about Deciphering attraction signals, how to know if she’s attracted, etc. The question is what does the guy at the bar who gets the most natural conversations started with girls do? Well I recently read this and I feel this will be of value to many people who enjoy reading this blog.
This is a direct quote out of the book “Why Women Have Sex” by David Buss and Cindy Meston(haven’t finished it but thus far recommend it):
Women are drawn to men who signal interest through eye contact and open body posture and social status through space maximization, nonreciprocal intrasexual touch, and a masculine manner of walking.
This is such a ridiculous thought to me, because it truly is that easy to notice “alpha” body language and behavior. This quote was derived from a study by a psychologist (Karl Grammer), in the study they noticed that the men who had “successful contact” with a women (1 minute of continuous conversation) had 5 traits in common:
More frequent short, direct glances at women; more space maximization movements; more location changes; more non reciprocated touches; and a smaller number of closed-body movements.
This really just means those guys that you see who walk around and seem to command that Masculine attention tend to take up more space. They stand wider, shoulders out, hands on hips, pushing chest out, etc. Basically take up more space. The social “Alphas” always appeared to be more comfortable demanding more space. This is true of all animals, the bird pushes out it’s chest, the house cat pushes it’s back up when you threaten it, we all do things to make ourselves look bigger to show “Alpha” when we must.
They were more willing to make eye contact, eye contact is an obvious show of confidence. If you are willing to look over for short glances and get caught repeatedly, then you are telling them you are attracted to them, at least initially. For courtship to follow it’s natural phases they would have to show some attraction.
More non reciprocated touches, now to me that is something that is obvious once you realize it. We don’t ever touch the alpha of the group, but we always submit before their touch. This is common among all animals (after all we are animals), we tend to allow touch from our superiors while deny it from those we are socially “higher” than.
Closed-body movements is quite obvious to me, nobody approaches someone who looks like a grouch. This includes open stance (make yourself approachable to strangers), smiling, and uncrossed arms. You need to appear approachable for women to want to interact with you. Having fun is obviously a great open body behavior and a easy in.
Location changes, aww, I saved this for last. This is important for multiple reasons(by my theory anyways). You are roaming more territory, comfortable in more areas, confident in different locations, etc. You are also giving yourself more opportunities to talk to another person when you wander around more. When you wander back and forth, you become more familiar to people, a familiar face is a “likable” face. The more often we interact with someone the more attractive(though not always sexually) we become (so long as we don’t repulse the person). So you are adding multiple layers with your location changing. You are presenting more opportunities, creating more familiarity, and showing you are confident in multiple arenas, all signs of an “alpha” animal.
So guys when you go out, you have an idea on what looks the most approachable. Which types of men seem to have more natural conversations with women. Go out and be that guy, and your interactions should increase substantially.