Date Don’t Remember
Situation: Went to bar to play pool and kill time before going out with some friends.
So me and a buddy were going to a little bar I really like. My buddy is also a natural ladies man. Women love him, but he isn’t proactive, they come to him in most cases. They add him on facebook, call him, text him, etc. They come to him, so without much effort he gets girls. However, when we go out to talk to girls he has a rough time. My buddy gets looks all over the place (girls think he is very hot) but he is bad at picking them up.
We were sitting at the bar after playing a few games of pool. I looked over to see this girl looking in our direction. I came to the realization she was attracted to him. I was watching this girl for a little bit, she had been hit on by at least 5 guys. You guys have all seen the fly girl get guy after guy approach her, in this case you need to obviously be different. Don’t be the drone that comes up.
The arrangement of this bar makes it so you have to order in back of someone with chairs, actually a great idea, easy as pie way to chat with a girl. You go order a drink(water, coke, cocktail, beer, etc.) next to the girl you want to talk to. So guys would go to order a drink and bump into her and say sorry to start a conversation, works almost every time. Guy after guy was being denied by this girl with a don’t f**k with me look. A occasional smile mostly out of courtesy.
Since I seen her look over, when they would meet eyes she would look away. In some cases she would move her hair after she would look away, down at her drink, to the side etc. Seeing that this girl was all for him, I told him to go over.
I sent him over, he walked over and she was initially getting hit on, so instead of being awkward he returned. Than I sent him back. She was very happy he approached her. When they started talking, she was smiling. Her head bobbed. She tilted her head exposing her neck. She moved her hair away from her neck exposing it more. She moved her shoulder bumping into his.
He had walked over and put his elbows up on the bar and turned his head to start talking. His arms were slightly crossed (not enclosed). He had a smile, with slightly rigid nervous shoulders. He was not comfortable with approaching the girl. He was adjusting his hat while talking to her(preening). She however was happy that he made the approach.
Everything was great, than at some point things changed. I watched as she started to close her shoulders and start to cross her arms. Her arms were becoming rigid. I realized she was getting uncomfortable. Initially she was leaning over to say something in his ear now she was neutral again. She made it so that she was just far enough away that she wasn’t bothering her neighbor. Her body was now rigid, enclosed, and protected. She was no longer comfortable with the situation.
I wasn’t able to hear what she said, but I did see what she said. That statement was leave me alone, you are just like everyone else. Apparently that was literal, she said “Please Leave”. From what I could see it wasn’t that the physical attraction was non-existent, it was something he did.
One thing is he was too drunk(didn’t realize that until this point), and he wouldn’t tell me what he said which means he likely said something crazy. He thought she was a lesbian, that is far from true based off of her physical attraction to men (at least to him).
This was a 2-3 minute interaction and all of these signals were presented. He literally changed from being attractive to being annoying in only a couple minutes for her. She was sending him looks for a few minutes by the time I brought it to his attention. This was the beginning of courtship failed.
Sorry guys, I have been super busy. Lots of turn around shifts(working 9 hours after shift ends) make it difficult for me to get on here. I will try and get some more info up. A better blog, I have been working a little to often to get shtuff up.